'Will my son be next'?

[lbere]

Morning,

Has anyone read this yet, in today's Daily Mail, You magaizine?

Well done to that mother. This is just how I feel.

I also contacted the Police these last few weeks to ask what they were doing for our kids to ensure that they were safe. I am more afraid for my child, in Sydenham, than anywhere else. I had a long conversation with the Police and explained my concerns and they responded that they are watching and dealing swiftly with the issues.

[Savvy]

No, I haven't read it. And my advice to you is to eschew that hate and fear mongering disgusting lying piece of an apology for a paper and get on with living your life.

[Tim Lund]

Savvy

I can't say I'm much of a fan of the Daily Mail either, but to someone worried about her child's safety, your reaction is not going to be helpful, either personally, or in generally decreasing the influence of the Daily Mail.

[CaptainCarCrash]

The truth is our kids could be in harms way if you look at the statistics, it has bothered me in the past because it is every parents nightmare if one of their children were to get attacked. I think you may have overreacted but I can fully understand why, there are some rotter's out there but you cant run away from it and you cant wrap them up in cotton wool either (Cliché I know). Chances are the boy will be fine and we can do a lot as parents to protect them.

As for the Daily Fail, I'm a Sun man myself but a lot of people read the DM and a lot hate it. I'll reserve judgement as I haven't really ever read it.

[panmum]

You could always try and do something to make life better for the local youth, Don't worry about what other people say, I have been called a bloody do gooder and worse (won't repeat it here) I have four sons and they range from 24 to 14 they all live their lives and get out and about, getting stranded at JFK (18 year old) and wombling off from a meeting place in Camden with their friends when we have driven in two cars from this side of London to go and fetch them at 11 at night (14 year old) those are the phone calls I will cherish, because they are not that phone call, only recently had one from the police because our other 18 year old was spat at when serving at a fast food outlet by a little scrote who didn't get his own way and the company wanted to take it further, my boy is far too busy with uni to let it worry him, and saw at as just one of those things, and yes it could have been worse, there are so many good kids out there, and the rotten ones are the ones we only ever think about, or the ones that end up dead, until the newspaper goes in the recycling eh? Time for us all to stand up and make a difference, start getting involved and bring these young people back from the edge.
Panmum x

[Savvy]

Well said Pansmum, good for you.

'if you're scared of the dark, don't watch scary movies on your own'... i. e. if you want to live a life as free as possible from stress and fear that someone is out to get you at every turn, then don't read the Daily Mail.

[mummycat]

yup

[admin]

Savvy,

I couldn't find anything on the Mail website. Is it different from this story?

"Teenage violence: will it be my son next?"
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life ... 123356.ece

BTW is generally accepted as OK to post a paragraph or possibly two to give a flavour of the story as long as it is properly sourced.

Admin

[mummycat]

plop

[admin]

You mean the Mail pinched it? Surely not

NB: If you want to bash the DM and/or all those that read it, please do it here:
http://forum.sydenham.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=5326

Admin

[paultreacy]

I read the Mail from time to time. Such as when I happen upon a copy on the train, for example. It is a dreadful rag. Always has been. I used to work for the national press and always dreaded what the Mail would come up with. And it's misogynistic in the extreme.

I have to say one thing, on behalf of us men; it's not only MUMS who worry.

A good point was made earlier too that has to be repeated, that we mostly only hear the bad news about youngsters. There is much good news too, let's not forget.

Thinking on the figures, the number of attacks we hear about is quite low compared to the number of young people about the place. Let's not get too sensational about this.

[sfhyouthforum]

I agree with Panmum. I run a forum for people concerned with helping young people in Sydenham, Forest Hill and Perry Vale. Our next meeting 19th November 2010. 12pm – 2pm at Here For Good, 17 Sydenham Road.

If you email me mel@sfhyouthforum.org.uk, I can send you our minutes and a map and invite.

Members include all councillors from the three wards we cover - Sydenham, Forest Hill and Perry Vale. We also have representation from schools, youth clubs, small orgs, faith groups, sports orgs, individual residents, local assemblies teams, and youth service staff.

You could also volunteer for us and help set up our public fund to help young people be fully resourced and help them excel in their talents.

Sadly, I experienced one of my former life skills members get stabbed to death in Sydenham. Thankfully I also see positive changes in the hundreds of young people I work with throughout the year. If you want to see change, you have to actively get on board. Though looking at the total replies I have had to ALL my posts since joining (a total of one person aside from myself) it starts to make one wonder whether there is some therapy in simply moaning / fearing / complaining on this forum. (??)

19th November 2010. 12pm – 2pm.

Melissa Jane Knight
Development Officer / Youth Worker
Sydenham and Forest Hill Youth Forum
c/o Rockboure Youth Club
41a Rockbourne Road
London SE23 2DA
M. 07886 116 055
mel@sfhyouthforum.org.uk
http://www.sfhyouthforum.org.uk
registered charity no. 0178093

[panmum]

Guilty as charged Mel!! In fact I was thinking really hard about whether I could stretch myself but sadly I am just not well enough and what I have on board already is just about it for me, I think the real problem lies with the way we have made adults frightened to try and do voluntary work with children and young people, over the last decade or so our society has formed a very strange fascination with paedophillia, and the powers that be have taken a lot of power (if that's the right word?) from parents, the rules and regulations that are now in place are in my opinion doing irreparable damage to the fabric of our society, we now have a generation of young people who just can't interact with their elders, and yes I know it was NEVER easy but we must see things are much worse now. I have come across so many young people that need help and guidance, and are just not getting it at home or at school/college. Come on people get off your bums and flippin well help out, you could get such a lot out of it, and this new government wants to keep banging on about the big society, well its up to us to show them! Next time you see a teenager smile at them don't turn away! If we all did it wouldn't it make a difference? Maybe we should have a national Hug a hoody day!!!

[sfhyouthforum]

I think that for the most part, it is highly unlikely that someone's well brought up son who never engages in trouble is going to end up stabbed to death. Even the teenagers I work with who do have trouble in their lives, either at home or at school, are not being stabbed daily. This is not to say there isn't an issue with youth violence, but you have to engage in these issues to reduce your fear of them.
I worked at the Young Lewisham Project ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4BXb_wEMU8)
for six years. Nick attended as still does his friend Charlie, also in the paper for being stabbed in Sydenham (I really dislike naming these young people). Young Lewisham Project members learn real skills and gain confidence. They are helped to control their anger and build healthy relationships with adult youth workers. It is so sad that even one young member has been killed, though I do urge people to see that the majority of young people are working hard at getting something positive out of their lives. Thye are finding jobs, learning new things, gaining qualifications. Some of these young people come from really poor areas, with parents who have serious issues. (A major reason not to close safe learning environments such as Sydenham Library). I have never been hit once by the many hundreds of young people I have worked with or feel scared by them.
The other thing to consider is that alongside this doom that things are getting worse, are the many examples of amazing talents on display. Go to any school or youth clubs and see the art, music, maths, science, IT brains sparkling away. Most young people are very clever and engaged in society. They communicate with each other all the time. They are ambitious and the vast majority of young people are not violent hooded thugs - even the ones branded these labels are not.
Re. getting involved - one of my posts only asks for tips of trying to set up a public fund. Read several times overs, yet not one single tip. This lends me to the conclusion that perhaps adults feel embarrassed that their idea will not be good enough, or that this is just a place to vent and pick on people for the papers they read or the bars and clubs they attend.
Panmum if you wanted to do research at home in your own time for two hours a month, let me know. Unfortunately face-to-face hugging hoodies is not allowed without being fully criminal records checked and even then there are safeguarding issues with that!!

[Rachael]

Mel - I've read all your posts. With the question of setting up a public fund, you need someone with the relevant experience to be a) on the forum and b) reading the forum regularly enough to see your post. The more specific and technical your post, the less chance you have of getting a response on a local forum like this. I think that applies to your search for a treasurer as well. It's not that we are not engaged, or that we are shy about coming forwards, but that the right person doesn't happen to be reading the forum at the right time. This is a fairly active forum as local forums go, but the membership base maybe isn't as big as you think it is.

This isn't just a place to vent - I have seen people here offer great advice to people, but only when they actually have some sound advice to offer.

On the issues raised by the OP, I agree that the vast majority of kids do not get into trouble, and those with solid, loving homes, even less so (although it does happen). If the article in the Mail is the same as the one I read in the Times a few months ago, then I agree with some of the other posters (on the now split thread) that it wasn't a sound piece of journalism. It was a mother expressing very understandable fears, ones that as mothers we are all subject to. But what it didn't address is the question of whether our fears are well founded.

[paultreacy]

Let's say "as parents" instead of "as mothers". Dads care too.

[paultreacy]

Mothers do not have a monopoly on this issue.

[Rachael]

Absolutely right - I thought of that after I posted and didn't have time to edit it.