No teeth in Sydenham!

[yay!gosydenham!]

Hi all!
Now I admitted in a post last month, that I was a scaredycat. And I am. I need to go to the dentist and I'm scared. I'm scared of their pointy metal tools, their screeching drills, and the evil machine that hoovers up all the saliva, only allowing you to replace it later with a warm medicated drink that tastes like hospital. I'm scared of their eagerness to humiliate me with questions I can't answer, firstly because they are poking and prodding around my pearly greys, giving me grace only to reply in grunts and cherades; and secondly, because I have no holidays planned to gibber on about because I am giving up all personal treats and pleasures to save up for a likely couple of crowns. I do hope they make them in pearly grey.

Three lovely people replied to my post and appeal for a good dentist... Sara, Shell1 and Claireclaire, and I thank them/you very much. I trust entirely that there is a 'ping' and a star and halo around their teeth when they smile. I sincerely hope so, and there is in my mind. But there was one thing I forgot to add in my appeal, something very important. Basically, the problem is that in addition to being a Scardeycat, I am, well, lazy. Ah yes, but before you condemn me for that, do please understand that when you are scared, the last thing you want to do is drag out the fearful ordeal, in time or in bus journeys, or worse, still, in both. I mean, let's be honest, when you're scared, the fear, pain and humiliation is hard enough, without starting it off with a Lord of the Rings epic journey to the sword whealding masked (wo)man, and rounding it off with a public show of dribbling.

So despite being hugely grateful for those who so kindly replied, and despite the likelihood of me making the trek just as soon as I realise that I am probably very successfully practicing something called avoidance, I can't help thinking that surely more than 3 people living here go to the dentist. And surely some of you must go locally. Is there really not a good dentist here in Sydenham? Or Penge. Or even Crystal Palace or Forest Hill... A dentist with a professional, no-nonsense, yet sensitive approach. The kind of person who could handle my big scared eyes, winces and screams without flinching or trembling; a dentist who'll stop the drilling if I gesticulate madly or wave a big white flag. The kind of person who'll reassure me they won't hurt me. And won't hurt me. Surely, someone knows someone nice. Or are all dentists just evil. I have of course had my suspicions.

But as I wander the streets of Sydenham, and as people pass me by without a smile, I wonder if there is in fact a deep, dark secret to be uncovered ... is Sydenham in fact a toothless community without need for dentistry? Could this be true I ask you? And if so, is it the result of the chicken? Or the egg?

Please save the teeth! Before they become extinct!

Your thoughts, theories and, most importantly, recommendations (yes don't forget those!) very welcome. and gratefully received...
With kind wishes and an inner smile!
Yaygo!

[Willy]

Try this one:

LK Bandlish
5 Gipsy Hill, Gipsy Hill, London, SE19 1QG
+44 (0) 20 8670 2296

Ask for Dr Kam Patel, she's awesome - warms up the water used in the pumps if you have sensitive teeth and aims to cause you as little discomfort as possible. Go on, your teeth will be off to Holywood before you know it!

[Duke of Clarence]

I know you said you're lazy but this practice in West Dulwich is really worth the effort:

http://www.haynesdental.co.uk/location.php

[simon]

I have to agree with Willy's recommendation of Dr Kam at the Bandlish surgery. I have had dental problems for years and now only have a few of my own left. Dr Kam really makes an effort to make everything as painless as possible and has a very reassuring manner. The whole Bandlish operation is first class and Mr B himself an outstanding dentist.

[bigbadwolf]

Like any sane person I'm terrified of the dentist, especially after seeing Lawrence Olivier in the Marathon Man. But I've always gone to the one above William Hill at the end of Dartmouth road, E Harunani & L Ziman tel: 020 8699 9797. A very friendly service run and staffed by people who now what they're doing.

But just so as I can bring your anxiety with regards to the dentists drill into perspective, yay!gosydenham!, allow me to recount a story I was told when I was younger.

When I was a little cub my grandfather would tell exaggerated tales of daring do from his days in the RAF. Now, I'm not entirely sure how much of this is fiction, but from what I can gather from my father and uncles, is that most of it was drawn from an actual event.

But before I begin, let us remember those horror stories from a bygone era when if a tooth needed extracting, a piece of cord would be attached to a door that would be attached to the troublesome tooth and the door slammed. Remember? Good, I shall begin.

During the war my grandfather flew a Mosquito fighter/bomber over the eastern Mediterranean. Usually operating from remote, forward airfields so as to keep the Hun on their toes. During these long periods away from civilization - and a dentist - his fellow airman would occasionally develop dental and medical ailments that couldn't be readily treated by a professional. So they usually had to rely on improvisation or initiative.

On one such mission, my grandfathers bombardier suffered from an excruciating toothache. This unfortuanate fellow would keep the rest of the squadron up at night with his sobbing and whimpering. The squadron leader eventually had to act because it was unsafe for his pilots to be loosing sleep.

One morning he announced to his men - and the 'patient' - that he'd come up with a solution. They took some of the frayed linen from the machine gun ports on one of the aircrafts the wings. Twisted them together to form a strong, but thin cord. Attached the cord to the tooth. Then lashed the other end of the cord to one of the propeller blades. Held his head and mouth open. Started the aircrafts engine.

I don't think it takes an expert to figure out what happened next.

So, yay!gosydenham! When you eventually find yourself in the dentist's chair. Just think of that poor chap who (supposedly), over 60 years ago, had his tooth literally ripped from his head at the speed of sound.

[yay!gosydenham!]

Thank you all very much, you lovely people, you! This is very helpful., and I shall let you know how I get on. If I survive that is.

Does anyone happen to know if Bandish or Haynes take NHS patients?

Failing that, has anyone got a spare working propellered plane?
Wolfie?

Yaygo!

[bigbadwolf]

Failing that, has anyone got a spare working propellered plane?
Wolfie?

No, but I have a cousin who could lend us his remote controlled racing car. All we need is a piece of cord and a long enough stretch for his toy to pick up the necessary speed and momentum.

You in?

[yay!gosydenham!]

I have had dental problems for years and now only have a few of my own left. Dr Kam really makes an effort to make everything as painless as possible.

This could be read two ways! I look forward to Dr K giving me dental problems for years and making an effort to help me lose most of my teeth with as little pain as possible. Hopefully her methods include sending cake, fudge and toffees every day.

A genuine thanks for your tips...
Yaygo!

[yay!gosydenham!]

Failing that, has anyone got a spare working propellered plane?
Wolfie?

No, but I have a cousin who could lend us his remote controlled racing car. All we need is a piece of cord and a long enough stretch for his toy to pick up the necessary speed and momentum.

You in?

I'm not sure AAA battery would do it. Any other ideas? Everything considered!

[yay!gosydenham!]

Go on, your teeth will be off to Holywood before you know it!

Do you think I can go with them?

[bigbadwolf]

Any other ideas? Everything considered!

Pliers and Clove Oil?

[JRobinson]

There are two dentists in Forest Hill, neither of which I've had any experience of.

I last had a check up in May 2007, and the dentist then said that I might need a filling. Then I went travelling for 12 months, and have not had a check up since coming back.

If I have teeth problems, I gargle salt water, and brush more regularly, and for longer, and cut out the more sugary foods and drinks.

Probably not what you want to hear to help you decide that you should go and visit a dentist.

[Yellow Peril]

I can thoroughly recommend these guys.

http://www.perryvaledental.co.uk/

Alison Mitchell is the one whom I allow to sort out my teeth. If you're a nervous patient, she'll put your mind at ease. I think she's brilliant.
I've also found that she won't recommend unecessary costly treatments, unlike one I had the misfortune to encounter a few years back. (Not in this area, I hasten to add.)

Although it's on Perry Vale, therefore technically in Forest Hill, the practice is actually between the Mayow Road roundabout and Woolstone Road, so still within walking distance. Maybe 10 mins from Sydenham Road or you could hop on a no. 75 bus if you're feeling really lazy.

Good luck and hopefully they can sort out your gnashers.

[yay!gosydenham!]

Thank you all you lovely people. I'm very grateful.

So, does it matter if the pliers are rusty?

(I will report back hopefully with shiney pearly whites.)

Yaygo

[bigbadwolf]

So, does it matter if the pliers are rusty?

No.

It all boils down to how brave, desperate or skint the DIY dentist is, to find themselves in the situation when they're left with only one, barbaric remedy.