What's akin with The Dolphin?

[maestro]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfDCwP2SnI4

[MiniFox]

I do indeed fancy a pint, Lee
One must speak as one finds and I must say I love the Dolphin and MrMiniFox and I have been a regulars there since it opened
The staff have always been, without exception, friendly and helpful.
I have had cause to return something in the past and it was handled with good grace. We were in the weekend before and it is fair to say that the staff were open about the fact that things were a tad bumpy. But they handled it preemptively and with grace and humour. In a service industry, things go wrong and its how things are handled that marks one out not the 100% performance.
Michael, we love your pub and if there are teething problems, then we'll stick with you. It's a true gem

[stone-penge]

Why does everyone complain when The Dolphin serves bad food and takes an age to serve its customers?

Its not like they do it on porpoise.

[leenewham]

Have they made you wait a whale?

Oh, did I really just write that? Shame...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[TheDon]

Shell1 you ought to do what we did when we had bad meal at the Dolphin and unhappy with the way our complaint was handled just stop using the place.

[sophie]

FAO Michael at The Dolphin

Just a thought ...

I am sure you don't complain when anonymous public compliments of The Dolphin (and everything in it from staff to food and drinks) have been made on this forum so it seems only fair that you have to accept that there will sometimes be complaints and criticisms.

Perhaps the way to deal with both is to acknowledge them and then if there are several criticisms of the same thing deal with the complaint in the same way as you might do a complaint made in person by looking into it etc.

[Keef]

Tried a Sunday roast in The Dolphin a few weeks ago, for the first time. Really not great to be honest Staff were very friendly and nice, but service was slow, and it wasn't busy, plus I never got my pudding despite going and asking what had happened to it.

To be fair, they never tried to charge for it, but did deny I'd ever asked for it.

The main meal was nice enugh, but not worth the price, and not a patch on the roasts the woodman was doing until it closed recently.

Problem is, The Dolphin knows it doesn't have to try too hard, because lots of people will go there rather than any of the other pubs, so they let standards slip, knowing they're guaranteed custom.

[bigbadwolf]

Problem is, The Dolphin knows it doesn't have to try too hard, because lots of people will go there rather than any of the other pubs, so they let standards slip, knowing they're guaranteed custom.

Agreed.

That, and the reverence its customers - and patrons of similar establishments - hold the place in often creates an illusion that it's not a pub at all. Instead it's often mistaken for a temple enshrining all the virtues of middle class life.

[Duke of Clarence]

This time the tall Gestapo type blonde waitress (the one with the aggressive manner who could do with a day or two at charm school) marched to the table and peered down her nose disdainfully at me.

I can't think of a better Dolphin crowd puller than Shell1's description of the blonde and TBH TDA should have embraced it as endorsement rather than a personal attack. I'm dusting down me lederhosen and monocle in preparation for the Dolphinista experience.

[bigbadwolf]

You can just picture the scene:

"Overall it's been a steady week in terms of sales. But we're getting a dip in harmonious vibes that we and prospective entrants to the gastro cult could do without reading about on the local, online bitch board.

But apart from that, you're doing a fantastic job assisting us in relieving our easily led punters of their hard earned wedge.

We'll have another of these team-talks next week. That's all for now, you're dismissed.

Ah, Helga. Would you mind staying behind for a bit longer? We need to talk."

[Duke of Clarence]

You can just picture the scene:

"Overall it's been a steady week in terms of sales. But we're getting a dip in harmonious vibes that we and prospective entrants to the gastro cult could do without reading about on the local, online bitch board.

But apart from that, you're doing a fantastic job assisting us in relieving our easily led punters of their hard earned wedge.
We'll have another of these team-talks next week. That's all for now, you're dismissed.

Ah, Helga. Would you mind staying behind for a bit longer? We need to talk."

"Is there a problem?" she hisses.

" Not exactly a problem, it's just that..."THWACK!

He reels from the from the force of the slap. It smarts. She continues.

"Listen up Landlord I've been serving the anaemic looking tasteless muck under a huge layer of pale yellow greasy skin served on a "bed" of green slush that passes for duck n spinach in this place all day long and I don't have time for yours or the customer's back chat. If there's a problem spit it out otherwise I'm off to the beirgarten for some decent nosh: bratwurst, spaetzle, Wiener schnitzel, sauerkraut and potato salad followed by apple streusel and knocked back with a flagon or four of the finest Bavarian Hefeweiser this side of the Sydenham High Street."

[The Commander]

This time the tall Gestapo type blonde waitress (the one with the aggressive manner who could do with a day or two at charm school) marched to the table and peered down her nose disdainfully at me.

I can't think of a better Dolphin crowd puller than Shell1's description of the blonde and TBH TDA should have embraced it as endorsement rather than a personal attack. I'm dusting down me lederhosen and monocle in preparation for the Dolphinista experience.

Tall Gestapo type blonde waitress namens Helga?? Wunderbar -wo ist diese Garten Eden, der Dolphin? The Commander might have to join up with the Duke of Clarence for Duck n Spinach and the Helga experience.

[Duke of Clarence]

O dear as appealing as that suggestion is Commander I'm not into D&S! The Dolphinista experience is (sadly) not all leiderhosen, blondes and uniforms. I am sorry that the Wolf and the Duke may have led you to believe otherwise however Berlin's Kit Kat club may cater for your, urm, special needs. Enjoy: http://www.kitkatclub.de/index%20engl.html

[GLOBAL THINKER]

I often check in this forum to see any relevant news about Sydenham and its high street etc. But I must say that it is very irritating when a perfectly reasonable thread is hi-jacked with nonsensical meandering posts. Stick to the bloody subject !!! Aaaarrghh

[bigbadwolf]

Eat my shorts, GT.

[fat_mike]

I had sunday dinner there a couple weeks ago for the first time. I ordered two oxfordshire beef roasts and at over a tenner each you'd expect to be spot on. The beef was disgusting and everything else you could tell was microwaved. I won't be going back to eat or drink, as it was also full of chavs in england tops.

[bigbadwolf]

Tell me about it! The place is a complete farce. They allude to encouraging an atmosphere of traditional english hostelry. Serving traditional, mouth watering fare.

Come off it, they don't even have a thatched roof for god sake.

[Rachael]

Global Thinker - everyone knows there is a law of diminishing returns on a forum thread. The longer it gets, and the older it is, the less relevance it has to the OP. Just read the first page and leave it at that. You'll have got all the relevant info the thread is ever likely to contain. Of course, if you take this advice, you won't get as far as reading this advice.

BBW - I now have the image of a wolf in boxer shorts seared on my brain. Thanks for that. At lunchtime, too.

[Duke of Clarence]

rshdunlop sums up the psychology of the thread perfectly. The sometimes random nature of a thread can prove to be more interest than the actual subject, which as rshdunslop has already pointed out is generally covered on first page. It is fair to point out that a wide range of people use forums for a wide range of reasons.

Now back to The Dolphin:

After Helga left for the Biergarten the landlord decided to do something about the menu. He pulled on his deerstalker, grabbed his rifle and headed off to Crystal Palace Park where the ducks were plentiful, plump, fresh and wild....his mouth watered at the very thought.

[bigbadwolf]

And later that night, Helga is confronted by a furious IT consultant who demands to know why there's an aluminium wildfoul ankle-band in his dinner.

But this time the oversight can't be resolved by the concessionary cheese board payoff.

Which turns into what could be the breadstick that broke the Dolphins back.